


You Won’t BELIEVE What Frisk Dreemurr Did To The Humans Who Tried To Rob Their House!!!

by carolc24



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Japes, Post-Pacifist, Puzzles, flames, not clickbait, secret santa gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolc24/pseuds/carolc24
Summary: Thanks to the ambassador of monsters and the world’s most famous pacifist, The Wet Bandits have given up their life of crime.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 62





	You Won’t BELIEVE What Frisk Dreemurr Did To The Humans Who Tried To Rob Their House!!!

Harry Lyme and Marv Murchins are those rare criminals who grew up knowing they would be criminals. They met in kindergarten and planned their first heist at age six: stealing the teacher’s textbook with all of the homework answers in the back. They were immediately caught, but that didn’t stop them from planning dozens more heists throughout their school years and well into adulthood. In the past few years, they have been known for robbing suburban homes and flooding the homes after robbing them (hence the name “Wet Bandits”). When a concerned citizen, who identified himself as “Morv”, asked the police chief how he planned to catch the “strong and sexy” duo, the chief replied, “They’re just too incompetent to bother with.” No one paid much attention to the thieves’ crimes, not even the victims, who claimed that “they don’t even steal anything, and insurance paid for the water damage, so who cares?”

All that changed when the Wet Bandits decided to break into the home of Toriel, the former Queen of All Monsters, and Frisk Dreemurr, the current ambassador of monster affairs.

“Sure, we knew monsters lived in there,” said Harry in court. “They got that rune thing over their door. You know, the one with the triangles. But we aren’t prejudiced or anything. We steal from monsters the same as humans.” When asked if he knew that monster royalty lived in the house, he declined to respond as Undyne stared down at him with what one reporter called “contempt strong enough to suplex the human from across the room.”

When Harry attempted to breach the house, he tripped on a vine on the front steps and fell on his face. Luckily, his face landed on the doormat, which was very soft, and he suffered no injuries. Marv rushed past his fallen compatriot and opened the unlocked door, only to find... a massive wall of flames.

Within the inferno was a tiny flower poking out between the floorboards. He waved over to Marv and said, “Come find me if you’re up to the challenge, idiot!” before disappearing under the floor.

What followed was several hours of the bandits traipsing through the royal household, chasing the flower, who continued to taunt them as they sprung trap after trap. The house was filled with spikes, mazes, flame cannons, lasers, spears, and for some reason, a rifle wielded by a life-size replica of the film star Mettaton. “Sometimes simple is best, darling,” said Mettaton when asked to comment on this story.

When the bandits finally made it to the attic, Frisk was waiting for them. Smiling, they shook the hands of the thieves and congratulated them on being the first humans to complete the “Puzzles and Japes Escape Room For Humans”.

“We’ve been working on this for a while,” said Frisk. “We want to introduce more humans to monster culture, and dangerous puzzles are a part of that culture.”

The escape room was designed in collaboration with several professional puzzle designers, including Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, and Flowey, with special input from Frisk. “I tested it myself,” said the Ambassador. “But it took me a few tries to get through it.... so we made it a bit safer.” They declined to answer when we asked for clarification, but they did explain how the puzzles contain many safety features to make sure no one gets hurt (despite protests from Papyrus).

“Gotta be honest, it was a great puzzle,” said Marv. “Didn’t get hurt at all. Except my brain, from how hard some of the puzzles were. And my ego, because Harry solved a lot of ‘em for me. And my livelihood, ‘cause I’m going to prison now. But other than that, two thumbs up!”

“How’d the kid even know we were coming for that house???” Harry exclaimed as the police took him and Marv away from the scene. Frisk: “No comment.”

The Wet Bandits are now in prison, but Frisk and Papyrus still visit them often to teach them about puzzle theory. “THEY ARE QUICK LEARNERS,” said Papyrus. “THEY ONLY THREATEN ME ONCE EVERY COUPLE OF VISITS NOW!”

The escape room will be open to the public starting January 5th. You can buy tickets for the escape room only, or get a special Monster Culture Pass at a discount and see “UNDERTALE: The Musical” starring Frisk themself the evening after the escape room!

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Santa gift for sugarnspace on tumblr. Happy Holidays!!!


End file.
